Can you say: "Thunder-thighs?"
2. I Resolve to explain the Constitution to Ezra Klein, even though it is "more than 100 years old."
This from a kid born in 1985 and who attended public schools. (Please note: I did NOT say "snot-nosed.")
3. I Resolve to write to my Congressman and Senators more often, and to not laugh out loud at their pitiable, party-line responses. So far, so good, but the "day ain't over yet."
4. I Resolve to "pay my share" of onerous taxes to support the wild-eyed Ponzi schemes of a leftist, statist government whose policies are blatantly extra-Constitutional and which pose a genuine threat to the American way of life. Can I pay the IRS with Food Stamps? Why not?
5. I Resolve to embrace "Obamacare," "Obamanomics," "Obamagasn'oil," "Obamacars," "Obamacap'nTax," and "Obama-lama-ding-dong." After all, Marxism is so beneficial, is it not?
6. I Resolve to be less sarcastic when writing about Portland's monoclinous Mayor Sam Adams, even if I have to suck it up and swallow his agenda, or bend over to receive his point of view.. Ri-i-ight.
7. I Resolve to support the Portland Public Schools' constant requests for more and more money, even when the levels of scholastic achievement are morbidly declining, and teachers' pay-packages are constantly inflating. Why Johny kan't balunce him's chexbook? Don't axe me.
8. I Resolve to refrain from questioning the Government's right to systematically remove our Constitutional rights "for the greater good." More TSA, anyone?
9. I Resolve to refer to illegal aliens as "undocumented guests," or by whatever euphemism is acceptable to the Ministry of Truth. DREAM on, sucka!
10. I Resolve to refrain from references to "1984" when writing about our current political state, since we all know that the book was purely fictional. I love Big Brother, too.
I'm feeling more optimistic about 2011 already, how about you?
