WOO-HOO!! HIGH SPEED TRAINS A-COMIN' !!

The President just promised more billions of tax dollars to "improve" America's infrastructure, with projects like making "high-speed rail" available for 80% of Americans.
I can hardly wait to ride the new-and-improved Amtrak:
Just think, Portland-to-Lincoln City in less than three hours!!*
And all for less than $12 million per mile of track!!**

* Some restrictions apply.  Your actual travel time may be greater depending upon days of the week, distance from parking lot to terminal, distance from bus stop to terminal,  holidays, rainy days, gloomy days, bad hair days, one-of-THOSE-days, union regulations, union featherbedding, union work stoppages, union coffee breaks, whistle-stopping, and drug and/or alcohol use by passengers and/or train operators.
** Some restrictions apply.  Your actual cost-per-mile may exceed $12 million depending upon topography, geography, cartography, climatological and environmental restrictions, phrenological studies, greenhouse gas emission restrictions, local land use regulations, local customs,  use of actual metal in rails and trains, and Congressional management and budgetary oversight.  Average odds of costing a mere $12 million-per-mile: 1 in 186,000. Cost estimates exclude labor costs, land acquisition costs, maintenance costs, carriage costs, price of metal, price of plastic, and bri...ummmm....incentive contributions to elected officials.