Occupied Portland

As I observe the "Occupy Portland" demonstrators, the self-named "99 percent," who are apparently protesting everything from "corporate greed" to a shortage of Jif Crunchy at Walmart, several things came to my mind.  Yeah here we go again, looking at the obvious.
First in mind was the number of "greed" protesters wearing Nike shoes, North Face jackets and caps, some in Patagonia branded sweaters, a number of logo-adorned shirts: Polo, Carhartt, and others, and, of course, a lot of Columbia Sportswear.  On people "outraged" by "Corporate Greed."  Reminds me of the rabid anti-fur protester in front of the late Schumaker Furs who confronted me for shopping there.  Actually, the only 'fur' that I could afford to buy was a full-length mink...
keychain, but she was livid, nevertheless, apparently because mink are so cute and cuddly.  As she spewed her anti-whatever venom at me, I asked her, "If you are opposed to people wearing fur coats, why are you wearing leather shoes and a leather belt, and why is there a "Burger King" bag under your display? Which one of us is the hypocrite?"  She responded so badly that I needed to rinse my ears with Drano.


The second thing which came to me was "Don't you think it's time to move out of your parents' basements, stop playing Dungeons and Dragons or Warcraft, and do something productive with your life?  Of course, that's not directed at the union members who simply want to divert public attention from their own greed; nor at the illegal aliens wanting everything except taxation and the the tedium of learning of that wearisome English language:  nor at the college students, simply because they have yet to own anything more substantial than an i-phone, which was very likely a gift anyway, and can't possibly comprehend why no one wants to give them a "free lunch," which, try as I might, I cannot find written as a Constitutional right; nor at the police officers who receive overtime pay for schmoozing with the terminally mentally myopic.

Portland Occupiers, throw off your chains!  Smash your iPhones and Androids!  Throw away your Nikes, your American Eagles and Levis and Doc Martens!  Enter December free of clothing, oil and gas heat, give your Smart Car and your Prius to the Salvation Army or to Goodwill!  Close out your 401K's and cash out your life insurance policies and give that filthy, greedy money to those who are suffering under the jackboots of the Gert Boyles and the Phil Knights and the Steve Jobs of the world!  I do believe Michael Moore is looking for funding for his next fantasy "documentary,"  throw the man a bone, for heaven's sake!  Squeaking by on ten million a year is horrifying even to me!  Perhaps he could sell his GE and Halliburton shares in order to keep bread on his table. Invite eleven of your new comrades-in-arms your "crash" at your parent's place, raid their refrigerators, and use their showers.  Please listen to me:  use their showers.
Or, you could just STFU.

photo by Kyle Helstein

-neon leon